Tuesday, January 10, 2012

That pesky ego!

I'm reading a book called "Change your Thoughts, Change your Life," by Wayne Dyer.  First, he's amazing and everything I read or hear from him is so inspirational and true.  This particular book is his interpretation of the Tao Te Ching.  A chapter per verse of the Tao.  I've taken to reading one verse/chapter each morning.  I'm on verse 7.  But anyway, this morning I read about letting go of the ego.  The ego is the voice in all of our heads that shouts, "That's not fair!" "Where's mine?!" and just generally demands to be right all the time.  Wayne Dyer said we should strive to put others first and ask nothing in return.  I'll repeat that.  ASK NOTHING IN RETURN.  That's one tough statement to actually put into action!  But that means it's something I need to work on.  It'll be a great practice to keep.  "By giving without asking, he attracts everything that he's capable of handling or needing."  (from Dyer's book)   The bottom line that Dyer, per the Tao, is preaching is that by reversing the ego's hold on us, and serving others, "all your own needs will be fulfilled."  Good to know.

One thing I have noticed in this area of letting go of the ego is that when you are IN the go and let the go win, it doesn't feel good.  In fact, it feels downright awful.  I'll share a personal example.  Two days ago I and my live-in boyfriend came home from hanging out with friends, watching the NFL play-off game.  It was around 5:00, time to feed the animals (4 dogs, 3 cats).  In fact, it was past time to feed them, based on their normal routine, so they were quite persistent and hungry.  I went straight into the kitchen, filled each one's bowl, set it on the floor, stood there while they ate, picked up the bowls, washed them out, and stacked them in their place.  What does my boyfriend do?  Upon entering the house, he goes into the bedroom, changes into more comfy clothes, and plops on the couch to watch the rest of the game.  Honestly, it still irritates me now, reliving it as I share the story.  Granted, I usually am the one who feeds the animals.  This is because I'm typically the one home at feeding time, and I honestly don't mind doing it.  But this particular evening I felt over-looked, unappreciated, and taken for granted.  I made a sarcastic remark to him, which indicated my displeasure of the situation then went promptly into the bathroom to cry.  I want to clarify that I was crying not because my boyfriend didn't help, but because I let my ego win and it felt awful.  Yes, it would have been nice if my boyfriend helped.  Yes, it would have been nice if he at least gave me a nice, heartfelt compliment or some words of appreciation.  But letting my ego win in that situation, when it was shouting it's demands in my head, I felt an internal shift for the worse. 

What did I learn from this?  To take a step back, observe the situation at hand, and recognize when my ego is talking.  In the future I can think of better ways to handle the example I shared.  I could have fed the animals, and just asked my boyfriend if he would please pick up and wash out the dishes.  Instead of simply doing it all without saying anything, and then getting upset when he didn't do what I would have liked.

The ego exists to keep us "safe."  Safe in the terms of the ego.  In its little box.  When it perceives a threat, it shouts out, making demands, declaring how unfair it is.  In striving to be more in tune with my spirit, I am training my brain to see the ego for what it is.  I am capable of rising above the ego, and so are you.  In fact, it's essential we rise above our egos in order to be more divine in nature, more in tune with our spirits, more at one with the Universe.  More "God-like" if that strikes your fancy. 

This won't be easy.  It'll be one heck of a challenge.  But that means it's worth undertaking!  May all of us rise above our egos and become our true selves in peace, love, and happiness!   

No comments:

Post a Comment