"Your belief that ego can control life is an illusion." (p. 141 from "Change your Thoughts, Change your Life" by Wayne Dyer.")
"Think of the need to control as a signal to allow the Tao to flow freely through your life." (p. 141, same book).
Everything unfolds according to natural law - the same force that causes the seasons to change and birds migrate. Look at your life this way and realize it, too, is unfolding naturally. We need the times of betrayal, abandoment, abuse, neglect, fear, and anxiety so that we can also feel cared for, protected, loved, comforted, and whole.
EVERYTHING IS UNFOLDING PERFECTLY. EVERYTHING SHOWS UP ON TIME.
"Circumstances don't determine your state of mind, for that power rests with you." (p. 123 Dyer).
When you're in a state of chaos or surrounded by any kind of unrest, decide in that moment to find the calm center of yourself. Stop focusing on what's taking place that's causing you stress and instead take a few deep breaths, empty your mind of judgments, and then be still. You CAN choose calmness in the face of situations that drive other people to madness and chaos.
"I have the ability to stay poised, [calm], and centered, regardless of what goes before me." (p. 123 Dyer)
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Lessons from my dogs
I was sitting on the couch two nights ago, one hand petting my dog (a super fluffy chow mix) and the fingers of my other hand running through my live-in boyfriend's hair. I was suddenly struck by the thought that we should love other humans like we love our pets. I love my dogs unconditionally, unabashedly. I don't live in fear of them hurting me. I don't worry that they'll leave me someday or find someone better. I give my love to them freely, without expectation. That's how we should love one another. Why is it different with my boyfriend? I love him, but there's a near-constant underlying fear that he'll hurt me, leave me, or disappoint me. There's a wall, or at the very least a veil between us at all times. It was at that moment, sitting on the couch between my boyfriend and my dog, that I decided to love my boyfriend like I love my dog. Love without fear. Love without expectation. Just love him. Enjoy that he's here now. Enjoy whatever time together we have for what it is. Just like I do with my dogs. I'm in the moment with my dogs. But with my boyfriend I'm more often dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Why?
So that's why I decided to learn from my dogs. Live simply. Love fully. Be present.
LOVE without fear.
So that's why I decided to learn from my dogs. Live simply. Love fully. Be present.
LOVE without fear.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Now is Perfect!
This morning's chapter from Wayne Dyer's book was very powerful: "Living without Striving" (p. 94). It advises to always be present. Be here now. "Let go of wondering about doing the right thing." That's what I need to do. I'm always wondering and worrying if I'm doing the right thing and thinking I should be doing more. Apparently I don't need to do that anymore. Relax and just BE. Surrender. Accept. The Universe (or the Great Mother as Wayne calls it sometimes, or God) has everything in perfect control. Perfect harmony. We are all being taken care of at every moment and provided for at all times. So just let go, relax, surrender, and accept that sustenance given to us freely.
Apparently even back in Lao-tzu's time, 2,500 years ago, living this way was different and looked down upon. Lao-tzu said he was "an outsider who is unlike most people, who is drifting." That's exactly how I've always felt! It's considered normal and proper (even back then) to strive for more. But really, we have all we need already. Others might call us unmotivated or stupid, but we get a strong sense of inner peace from living this way. Others can't see that, so it confuses them. Trade "striving for arriving." I LOVE that!
Accept what is offered to you. It's exactly what you need. "Change how you see what's here and now in your life, for then it will become exactly what you need in order to be happy." When you stop striving and stay in the present moment, accepting what's offered, knowing you're being taken care of, you have no concerns for fears. They're replaced by a sense of being connected to the Source.
Wayne offers this affirmation in the chapter. I absolutely love it and will put it up in my house to read every day. It's purpose is to help you get in touch with the peace of the Tao.
"It is all perfect. God's love is everywhere and forgets no one. I trust in this force to guide me."
Two final key points from this chapter:
1. Don't strive for future benefit. Enjoy NOW.
2. Accept what's offered. Know that that situation is, in some way, sustenance from "the Great Mother."
*Also note that your striving ego will often reject these gifts from the Great Mother. All the more reason to let go and accept.
This is truly a great lesson. I look forward to practicing it every day. :)
Apparently even back in Lao-tzu's time, 2,500 years ago, living this way was different and looked down upon. Lao-tzu said he was "an outsider who is unlike most people, who is drifting." That's exactly how I've always felt! It's considered normal and proper (even back then) to strive for more. But really, we have all we need already. Others might call us unmotivated or stupid, but we get a strong sense of inner peace from living this way. Others can't see that, so it confuses them. Trade "striving for arriving." I LOVE that!
Accept what is offered to you. It's exactly what you need. "Change how you see what's here and now in your life, for then it will become exactly what you need in order to be happy." When you stop striving and stay in the present moment, accepting what's offered, knowing you're being taken care of, you have no concerns for fears. They're replaced by a sense of being connected to the Source.
Wayne offers this affirmation in the chapter. I absolutely love it and will put it up in my house to read every day. It's purpose is to help you get in touch with the peace of the Tao.
"It is all perfect. God's love is everywhere and forgets no one. I trust in this force to guide me."
Two final key points from this chapter:
1. Don't strive for future benefit. Enjoy NOW.
2. Accept what's offered. Know that that situation is, in some way, sustenance from "the Great Mother."
*Also note that your striving ego will often reject these gifts from the Great Mother. All the more reason to let go and accept.
This is truly a great lesson. I look forward to practicing it every day. :)
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Trust your Inner Nature
Yesterday's verse of the Wayne Dyer book was the most profound one I've read so far. And the one that spoke to me the loudest. It stressed the importance of living independent of other people's opinions of us - whether good or bad. When we seek favor of others and pursue status, we're not in alignment with the Tao, or our true selves. We each have a "basic nature that is uniquely [ours]." We need to "learn to trust that Tao nature and be free of other people's opinions."
"The Tao doesn't force or interfere with things; it lets them work in their own way to produce results naturally." When we do things, whatever approval or disfavor we receive is in perfect alignment. If we value other people's opinions, when they show us praise or favor, we become like a slave to them and when they show disfavor, we try to change their opinion, thereby working our life around and for them. Both actions on our part are utter madness. We're living outside of ourselves when we behave that way.
All of our troubles come from the ego. Without the ego, we have no troubles. No insecurities. No jealousies. It's a beautiful life. Just today, in fact, less than an hour ago, I was able to drop my ego and all my fears and insecurities vanished. Disappeared. POOF! I watched it happen. Of course, my ego came back, and brought along with it, those fears and insecurities. They're still there now. But the fact is, we CAN drop our ego at any time and live in perfect peace, harmony, happiness, and LOVE! This isn't easy, of course. But it's DO-ABLE! Totally! In that instant without my ego I felt nothing but peace. Love. Happiness. Ahhhhhhhhh.
Whenever we have a passionate thought, it's coming from our inner nature. That's why when we follow our passions, we're following our inner nature and our truth. If we feel insecure at times because other people disagree with us, remember that Lao-tzu said "'seeking favor is degrading.'" "It will lead you out of touch with your true self."
Remember that we're "not only [our] body," and "other people's opinions about what we should or shouldn't be doing probably aren't taking into account your true, eternal being."
No doubt! Think about it. Everyone has opinions on what everyone else should and shouldn't be doing. But if you think about something someone said to you in those regards, did they have in mind, or even any awareness whatsoever, of your deep, eternal being? Your true self? Most likely, no. Even you. Even though we all believe we know best, when we look at someone else and think we know best what they should be doing, are WE considering THEIR eternal nature? Probably not.
So let go and let BE!
"Your worldly self isn't your true identity, so trust your eternal self to communicate with you. It will do so through your inner nature, where you'll honor it through an independent mind. Respect your vision and trust your natural, passionate thoughts that are aligned with the loving essence of the Tao." (p. 62 of "Change your Thoughts, Change your Life" by Wayne Dyer).
Bottom line, listen to and follow your inner nature. Imagine, or feel, what you're drawn to, "if [you] have no outside forces telling [you] who or what [you] should be." By living THAT way, you're following your own unique, true nature and that's what we're all here to do.
"The Tao doesn't force or interfere with things; it lets them work in their own way to produce results naturally." When we do things, whatever approval or disfavor we receive is in perfect alignment. If we value other people's opinions, when they show us praise or favor, we become like a slave to them and when they show disfavor, we try to change their opinion, thereby working our life around and for them. Both actions on our part are utter madness. We're living outside of ourselves when we behave that way.
All of our troubles come from the ego. Without the ego, we have no troubles. No insecurities. No jealousies. It's a beautiful life. Just today, in fact, less than an hour ago, I was able to drop my ego and all my fears and insecurities vanished. Disappeared. POOF! I watched it happen. Of course, my ego came back, and brought along with it, those fears and insecurities. They're still there now. But the fact is, we CAN drop our ego at any time and live in perfect peace, harmony, happiness, and LOVE! This isn't easy, of course. But it's DO-ABLE! Totally! In that instant without my ego I felt nothing but peace. Love. Happiness. Ahhhhhhhhh.
Whenever we have a passionate thought, it's coming from our inner nature. That's why when we follow our passions, we're following our inner nature and our truth. If we feel insecure at times because other people disagree with us, remember that Lao-tzu said "'seeking favor is degrading.'" "It will lead you out of touch with your true self."
Remember that we're "not only [our] body," and "other people's opinions about what we should or shouldn't be doing probably aren't taking into account your true, eternal being."
No doubt! Think about it. Everyone has opinions on what everyone else should and shouldn't be doing. But if you think about something someone said to you in those regards, did they have in mind, or even any awareness whatsoever, of your deep, eternal being? Your true self? Most likely, no. Even you. Even though we all believe we know best, when we look at someone else and think we know best what they should be doing, are WE considering THEIR eternal nature? Probably not.
So let go and let BE!
"Your worldly self isn't your true identity, so trust your eternal self to communicate with you. It will do so through your inner nature, where you'll honor it through an independent mind. Respect your vision and trust your natural, passionate thoughts that are aligned with the loving essence of the Tao." (p. 62 of "Change your Thoughts, Change your Life" by Wayne Dyer).
Bottom line, listen to and follow your inner nature. Imagine, or feel, what you're drawn to, "if [you] have no outside forces telling [you] who or what [you] should be." By living THAT way, you're following your own unique, true nature and that's what we're all here to do.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Resolutions can be tough!
I had a challege to my New Year's resolution-keeping last night. My boyfriend got invited by some friends to go to Vegas in a couple months (which he declined, if only because he has other more pressing financial matters at the moment) and also to New Orleans in the fall (which he said he'd probably do). What?! My control issues raged their ugly head for sure. It got me to thinking, though, what IS my problem, exactly, with him going to these places? With or without me? Part of it is I'm not a fan of these cities. Granted, I haven't been to New Orleans yet, but I see it as a city with lots of drinking, partying, and flashing. True or not, that's my mental image. And it's NOT a place I'm all that comfortable with my boyfriend being, with or without me.
The other part is fear. I'm afraid he'll go, meet someone (or just SEE someone), come home, and then I will no longer be enough. Crazy? Perhaps. My insecurity. Yes.
That's when I remembered my resolutions: "Trust the Universe AT ALL TIMES" and "Let go of my need to be in control." At all times means AT ALL TIMES. Including if my boyfriend goes to a party-driven city. The Universe has got this. IT is in control. I can trust in the Universe's all-knowing management of things. It is *always* acting and creating for my benefit. Always. Believe that. Trust it. And Let Go.
The other part is fear. I'm afraid he'll go, meet someone (or just SEE someone), come home, and then I will no longer be enough. Crazy? Perhaps. My insecurity. Yes.
That's when I remembered my resolutions: "Trust the Universe AT ALL TIMES" and "Let go of my need to be in control." At all times means AT ALL TIMES. Including if my boyfriend goes to a party-driven city. The Universe has got this. IT is in control. I can trust in the Universe's all-knowing management of things. It is *always* acting and creating for my benefit. Always. Believe that. Trust it. And Let Go.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
That pesky ego!
I'm reading a book called "Change your Thoughts, Change your Life," by Wayne Dyer. First, he's amazing and everything I read or hear from him is so inspirational and true. This particular book is his interpretation of the Tao Te Ching. A chapter per verse of the Tao. I've taken to reading one verse/chapter each morning. I'm on verse 7. But anyway, this morning I read about letting go of the ego. The ego is the voice in all of our heads that shouts, "That's not fair!" "Where's mine?!" and just generally demands to be right all the time. Wayne Dyer said we should strive to put others first and ask nothing in return. I'll repeat that. ASK NOTHING IN RETURN. That's one tough statement to actually put into action! But that means it's something I need to work on. It'll be a great practice to keep. "By giving without asking, he attracts everything that he's capable of handling or needing." (from Dyer's book) The bottom line that Dyer, per the Tao, is preaching is that by reversing the ego's hold on us, and serving others, "all your own needs will be fulfilled." Good to know.
One thing I have noticed in this area of letting go of the ego is that when you are IN the go and let the go win, it doesn't feel good. In fact, it feels downright awful. I'll share a personal example. Two days ago I and my live-in boyfriend came home from hanging out with friends, watching the NFL play-off game. It was around 5:00, time to feed the animals (4 dogs, 3 cats). In fact, it was past time to feed them, based on their normal routine, so they were quite persistent and hungry. I went straight into the kitchen, filled each one's bowl, set it on the floor, stood there while they ate, picked up the bowls, washed them out, and stacked them in their place. What does my boyfriend do? Upon entering the house, he goes into the bedroom, changes into more comfy clothes, and plops on the couch to watch the rest of the game. Honestly, it still irritates me now, reliving it as I share the story. Granted, I usually am the one who feeds the animals. This is because I'm typically the one home at feeding time, and I honestly don't mind doing it. But this particular evening I felt over-looked, unappreciated, and taken for granted. I made a sarcastic remark to him, which indicated my displeasure of the situation then went promptly into the bathroom to cry. I want to clarify that I was crying not because my boyfriend didn't help, but because I let my ego win and it felt awful. Yes, it would have been nice if my boyfriend helped. Yes, it would have been nice if he at least gave me a nice, heartfelt compliment or some words of appreciation. But letting my ego win in that situation, when it was shouting it's demands in my head, I felt an internal shift for the worse.
What did I learn from this? To take a step back, observe the situation at hand, and recognize when my ego is talking. In the future I can think of better ways to handle the example I shared. I could have fed the animals, and just asked my boyfriend if he would please pick up and wash out the dishes. Instead of simply doing it all without saying anything, and then getting upset when he didn't do what I would have liked.
The ego exists to keep us "safe." Safe in the terms of the ego. In its little box. When it perceives a threat, it shouts out, making demands, declaring how unfair it is. In striving to be more in tune with my spirit, I am training my brain to see the ego for what it is. I am capable of rising above the ego, and so are you. In fact, it's essential we rise above our egos in order to be more divine in nature, more in tune with our spirits, more at one with the Universe. More "God-like" if that strikes your fancy.
This won't be easy. It'll be one heck of a challenge. But that means it's worth undertaking! May all of us rise above our egos and become our true selves in peace, love, and happiness!
One thing I have noticed in this area of letting go of the ego is that when you are IN the go and let the go win, it doesn't feel good. In fact, it feels downright awful. I'll share a personal example. Two days ago I and my live-in boyfriend came home from hanging out with friends, watching the NFL play-off game. It was around 5:00, time to feed the animals (4 dogs, 3 cats). In fact, it was past time to feed them, based on their normal routine, so they were quite persistent and hungry. I went straight into the kitchen, filled each one's bowl, set it on the floor, stood there while they ate, picked up the bowls, washed them out, and stacked them in their place. What does my boyfriend do? Upon entering the house, he goes into the bedroom, changes into more comfy clothes, and plops on the couch to watch the rest of the game. Honestly, it still irritates me now, reliving it as I share the story. Granted, I usually am the one who feeds the animals. This is because I'm typically the one home at feeding time, and I honestly don't mind doing it. But this particular evening I felt over-looked, unappreciated, and taken for granted. I made a sarcastic remark to him, which indicated my displeasure of the situation then went promptly into the bathroom to cry. I want to clarify that I was crying not because my boyfriend didn't help, but because I let my ego win and it felt awful. Yes, it would have been nice if my boyfriend helped. Yes, it would have been nice if he at least gave me a nice, heartfelt compliment or some words of appreciation. But letting my ego win in that situation, when it was shouting it's demands in my head, I felt an internal shift for the worse.
What did I learn from this? To take a step back, observe the situation at hand, and recognize when my ego is talking. In the future I can think of better ways to handle the example I shared. I could have fed the animals, and just asked my boyfriend if he would please pick up and wash out the dishes. Instead of simply doing it all without saying anything, and then getting upset when he didn't do what I would have liked.
The ego exists to keep us "safe." Safe in the terms of the ego. In its little box. When it perceives a threat, it shouts out, making demands, declaring how unfair it is. In striving to be more in tune with my spirit, I am training my brain to see the ego for what it is. I am capable of rising above the ego, and so are you. In fact, it's essential we rise above our egos in order to be more divine in nature, more in tune with our spirits, more at one with the Universe. More "God-like" if that strikes your fancy.
This won't be easy. It'll be one heck of a challenge. But that means it's worth undertaking! May all of us rise above our egos and become our true selves in peace, love, and happiness!
Monday, January 9, 2012
Focus on the Happiness
What we focus on expands, right? So to be happy, focus on the happiness within you. It's there. Sometimes it's deeper or more disguised. But it's there.
Focus on the contentment within. Listen to yourself. When your spirit leads you to something and it sounds fun, do it! Don't wait on or rely upon anyone else. Do it on your own if need be. Don't let yourself be held back or tied down by anyone or anything else. YOU ARE FREE! We impose limitations and obligations on ourself all the time. We don't have to.
Let your happiness be your guide. Not the expectations or ego or other people's thoughts or opinions. Your own spirit within is the perfect guide for your lifelong happiness.
Let it go. Whatever "it" is for you. Whatever's standing between you and total peace and happiness.
Just Let It Go.
Focus on the contentment within. Listen to yourself. When your spirit leads you to something and it sounds fun, do it! Don't wait on or rely upon anyone else. Do it on your own if need be. Don't let yourself be held back or tied down by anyone or anything else. YOU ARE FREE! We impose limitations and obligations on ourself all the time. We don't have to.
Let your happiness be your guide. Not the expectations or ego or other people's thoughts or opinions. Your own spirit within is the perfect guide for your lifelong happiness.
Let it go. Whatever "it" is for you. Whatever's standing between you and total peace and happiness.
Just Let It Go.
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